Ever wish your heelys would propel you down the street at a blistering 12 MPH? Me too. That’s why I’m glad I finally found rocket skates. Right now it’s just a kickstarter project, but I’m sure that with your suppport, we’ll be seeing these bad boys on the shelves of every WalMart both sides of the Mississippi before the new year.

As you watch their founder try to convince you to invest in his dream (and really isn’t it everyone’s dream?), try not to be distracted by the fact that he’s looking through the camera, time, the internet, and your screen at your bathing suit area, sizing you up with those hungry eyes. Hey, buddy. Eyes up here.